Questions Matter

Questions can be a powerful tool for improving relationships and bonding with others, learning about people and situations, and of course steering conversations. . .yet many of us are so focused on getting a quick answer that we don’t think about how we ask questions.

For example, “How was your day?” is very different from “What was the best part of your day?” The first is a common, basic question that will probably elicit a one-word response (“fine”, “okay,” “busy”). But think about how much more you’ll learn if you ask the second question!

I asked a friend, “What was the highlight of your Thanksgiving?” She immediately said being with family, and that she loved that it’s a holiday that doesn’t involve gifts. My question led to a meaningful conversation about enjoying holidays without added pressure. If I’d asked, “How was Thanksgiving?” it would not have sparked our interesting discussion!

Technique of the week: Give a little extra thought to your conversations this week. When talking to someone, ask deeper, more meaningful questions like, “What is his best quality?” or “What is your favorite part about the work you do?” Notice the direction and depth of your discussions—I promise they will be more fun and interesting for everyone!!!