Are You Listening?

How are your communication skills? These days with email and texting at our fingertips, I am finding that more and more people are feeling “socially anxious” when communicating with others.

Knowing how to articulate your ideas and listening to those of others is complicated as it is, add in all of the technology we have, and it becomes that much more difficult. Whether you’re managing a team at work, having a disagreement with your significant other or just talking with a friend, being an effective communicator is critical for every relationship.

An important first step to good communication is simply being present. However, it is NOT so simple. We often dwell on what was said or worry about the next thing we will say—which can shift our focus away from what we are really discussing. If you are more present in your interactions with others you can strengthen your ability to speak honestly, listen deeply, and navigate the twists and turns of a conversation. This also shows respect for the other person and creates new possibilities in the dialogue.

Technique of the week: The next time you’re having a conversation with someone, resist automatic responses. Take a relaxing breath (in and out of your nose) before you speak (this slows you down). Listen more than you talk, be respectful and don’t interrupt, make eye contact, and keep an open mind. When you focus on being present, your relationships will feel more real, honest and rewarding.