How do you eat an elephant?……
One bite at a time.
I love this old saying - it can be very helpful when you feel overwhelmed - just remember….break the situation down into “bite size” pieces and do ONE THING AT A TIME.
To learn more about the ingredients for happiness, you can purchase my book: The Recipe for Real Happiness, on Amazon!!! Click here.
Sending you so much love!
Happy Monday Everyone,
Thank you so much to those of you that have reached out and said how you've missed the Motivational Mondays.
We are all so inundated with emails and social media posts that I have decided to give you shorter Motivational Mondays that still share deep, thought provoking messages and ways of increasing your confidence, joy and inner peace.
Thank you for being here.
“Joy is the only measure of success” ~ Deepak Chopra
Make sure you are doing things, and being with people that bring you joy!
To learn more about the ingredients for happiness, you can purchase my book: The Recipe for Real Happiness, on Amazon!!! Click here.
Sending you so much love!
For those of you who read my Motivational Monday newsletter last week, I hope you were able to spend at least a few days noticing where you put your attention.
Now let’s look at how you can control where you choose to place your attention, rather than living on auto pilot.
The beauty of this practice is that anyone can do it and the more you practice, the easier it becomes.
The gist of the practice: Say goodbye to multi-tasking! I know what you’re thinking—yes, it’s hard for me too. But, when you stop doing more than one thing at a time, each thing you do becomes more fun (even—believe it or not—doing the dishes). And the benefits of these single-focus actions are actualized not just in that moment, but in many other areas of your life!
So, make a commitment to give attention to what really matters to you, whether it’s your body, your relationships, your family, your career, or your spiritual life. Set your priorities by writing them down and then give some thought to how you can direct your undivided attention.
This week, practice doing one thing at a time and give it your full attention. I promise you will notice feeling more engaged, calmer, and way more present to your life!
To learn more about the ingredients for happiness, you can purchase my book: The Recipe for Real Happiness, on Amazon!!! Click here.
Sending you so much love!
You have probably noticed that many of my Motivational Mondays have a similar theme. They are all related to reducing stress and being more present in your life.
This week my mm is really simple—Just notice. Notice where you put your attention. Is it drama? Is it bad news? Is it negative thinking?
Your attention is your superpower! And it truly has the potential to change your world. When you become the master of your attention and use it purposefully, you can transform your life—inside and out!
So, set a goal for this week and become aware of where you are putting your attention. There are SO MANY distractions these days that we really need to reign in our mental energy so that we can consciously choose what to focus on. Ask yourself a few times each day, “where am I putting my attention right now?”
As I always say, awareness is the first step. Just notice where your attention seems to go this week. Next week I will teach you how to use your newfound awareness!
To learn more about the ingredients for happiness, you can purchase my book: The Recipe for Real Happiness, on Amazon!!! Click here.
Sending you so much love!
Did you know that we have approximately 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day? Of those, however, 80% are negative. That is a lot of negativity—imagine all the ways negativity affects how we experience everything in our lives.
On the positive side, not all negative thoughts are bad. A bit of nervousness and anxiety helps us stay cautious and safe—but most negative thoughts are useless. They only create stress and imaginary drama in our minds.
Make a list of all the negative things you typically say to yourself. Write down your fears, your insecurities, your losses—look for themes. Then for each negative thought you listed, write a positive one. For example: If one of your negative thoughts is something you’re afraid to do because you think you’ll fail, write down a time when you did something difficult and surprised yourself by succeeding, or a time when an outcome wasn’t what you wanted, but you learned from it anyway. If you had a relationship that ended, remember the good times instead of the bad ones. Or if you’re irritated by someone in your life (a family member or colleague), focus on one or two positive qualities about that person.
This shifting of your perspective isn’t easy, but it’s important. We all need to become more aware of when we have repetitive negative thoughts so we can replace them with positive ones.
Give yourself a one-day challenge to practice this. The goal is to make it a habit. You can choose to live positively or negatively. A positive frame of mind is when you feel love, joy, gratitude, awe, playfulness, ease, creativity, drive, caring, growth, curiosity, or appreciation. On the other hand, a negative outlook means you allow yourself to feel stressed out, worried, frustrated, angry, depressed, irritable, overwhelmed, resentful, or fearful.
We have the choice. This is a practice. You need to put in the effort. But… which state would you rather live in?
To learn more about the ingredients for happiness, you can purchase my book: The Recipe for Real Happiness, on Amazon!!! Click here.
Sending you so much love!
Are you usually early, late, or do you just make it in the nick of time?
Since I’ve been studying and practicing mindfulness and meditation, I’ve become much better about being prompt. But there are still situations in which I don’t give myself enough time to be somewhere, and I wind up rushing.
My issue is that I tend to think things will take less time than they actually do. Plus, I love to cross things off my list—and doing so often causes me to do just one more thing… There is a price to be paid for that.
The cost is the ability to be present in the moment and experience a sense of inner peace. When we are in a rush, we miss so much—such as a heartfelt conversation, time to take a deep breath, the opportunity to look at a beautiful sky, or even to hold the door for someone.
Rushing around causes an adrenaline surge which, although it may actually feel good while you’re experiencing it, is not good for our health or mind. It releases cortisol (the stress hormone) and causes unnecessary pressure on our nervous system.
As you know, I’m all about awareness and awareness is the first step toward any kind of change. This week, think about the amount of time it will take you to get somewhere (I will, too), or how long you really need to do something. Schedule in an extra 10 minutes. This will give you the gift of time, possibly a connection with someone, and greater inner peace!
To learn more about the ingredients for happiness, you can purchase my book: The Recipe for Real Happiness, on Amazon!!! Click here.
Sending you so much love!
We all have our down moments, sometimes more often than we’d like, but there is something you can try the next time you are feeling a little cranky or blue.
First, stop (do you notice how I’m always bringing you back to the moment? : ) ) and see if you can identify what is causing your angst. Is it your body (physical discomfort or unhappy with your appearance), your significant other, your friends, your kids, your job?
After you’ve determined what the issue is .... ask yourself, “Is there anything I choose to do about it?” such as exercising and eating healthier, putting some effort into communicating better and nurturing relationships with your partner or friends, letting go of toxic friends, or looking for a job that brings you more satisfaction.
The next step is acceptance—this is not passive resignation but rather it’s choosing to accept the situation the way it is.
Once you’ve done that, find the gratitude. What part of the situation can you be grateful for? Maybe it’s that your body is functioning and gets you from point A to point B. Incorporating a formal gratitude practice into your life is like an insurance policy for joy!
So next time you feel upset about something, remember: acceptance + gratitude = calm and joy!
To learn more about the ingredients for happiness, you can purchase my book: The Recipe for Real Happiness, on Amazon!!! Click here.
Sending you so much love!
Most of us assume we are in control of our mood, but did you know it’s really common for us to mimic the mood of the people we’re with, or to let another person’s mood influence ours?
If you think about it, it’s kind of crazy. Why do we let that happen? I actually think it’s natural. Let’s say your partner comes home from work and is in a bad mood. Your day, however, was great. Chances are the evening will take on their negative vibe—if you let it. Or… maybe your child is upset about something that happened with a friend --- now you’re feeling sad because your child is sad.
I’m not saying to be callous or disinterested in what others are feeling. Far from it. I’m only suggesting that you don’t need to adopt their moods! Communicate, listen, share your thoughts, and offer your love and support. But whatever you do, don’t take on their negativity.
As they say, “you do you.” Consciously hold on to yourself while being as loving and supportive as you can. But the operative words here are, YOU CHOOSE!
To learn more about the ingredients for happiness, you can purchase my book: The Recipe for Real Happiness, on Amazon!!! Click here.
Sending you so much love!
I recently learned a technique that I find to be extremely clarifying and helpful for creating a more peaceful mind: Think about something that's disturbing you. It can be anything—from a problem at work to something annoying in your relationship to an issue with your kids.
I know, for me, I often feel like I am not doing enough to help others. I always assume I should be doing more—offer more groups lessons, create more Instagram posts, film more videos, launch a YouTube channel… You get the idea,
When I think about what I am not doing—it chips away at my joy (i.e., it takes me out of the present moment and the potential of finding happiness in that moment). When I ask myself “Where would I be without this thought?” my mind suddenly feels more spacious and freer. The point is, when our minds are not bogged down by “stuff” it allows us to find more creative ways to do whatever it is we choose or need to do! It’s much different from that feeling of what you “should” be doing.
Just think about that. The ability to clearly see what is upsetting you is an amazing tool because when you think about who you would be without it, you realize the weight and the pressure that it puts on you every day (or even every minute in some way).
So this week if you find yourself upset about something, stop and ask yourself, “Who would I be without this thought?” Realize that you are creating your own emotional discomfort! You are, after all, the only one who can eliminate that thought from the precious real estate in your mind and ultimately find your way to more inner peace.
To learn more about the ingredients for happiness, you can purchase my book: The Recipe for Real Happiness, on Amazon!!! Click here.
Sending you so much love!
I remember a few years ago after I had lunch with a friend, I asked her what she was going to do after. She said, “I don’t know, I’ll probably go home and decide what to think about.”
I have never forgotten that response. I loved that mental power she was talking about. That is exactly what meditation does for you. It helps you to train your attention so that you can focus it where and when you want.
We create our own chaos, and we can create our own peace! Start today. Sit in silence (time yourself for 2 minutes) and focus on your breath (for starters). As you have thoughts (and believe me you will!) just bring your attention back to your breath. That is the beginning of training your attention, and the way you start learning to meditate.
Meditation will help you to notice in your everyday life when you’re not focusing on what you’re doing. Then once you are aware you can bring your attention back to the task at hand. This is how we keep our mind clear, stay present, and diminish (or prevent) the chaos that we create!
To learn more about the ingredients for happiness, you can purchase my book: The Recipe for Real Happiness, on Amazon!!! Click here.
Sending you so much love!
At one time or another, we’ve all experienced relationships that have ended. Whether you know the reason or not, the loss of a friendship or a breakup with a significant other is hard—even if you know you’re better off without that person in the long run. The worst scenario is when you don’t have any closure. Maybe the person just stopped reaching out or didn’t respond to your texts or calls—which creates an “unfinished” situation and leaves you feeling frustrated.
Even if this person was very negative, or an energy sapper, or just plain toxic, to have the relationship stop short—even if you’re happy to get rid of all the drama—may leave you feeling even more uncomfortable than having her (or him) in your life.
I totally understand, and I have been there. Here’s the best thing to do: Write that person a letter. Thank them for any good times you may have had together and express how grateful you are that the relationship is no longer draining your energy. Write down everything, all of your feelings, and include as many details as possible. But DON’T WORRY—you’re not going to send it.
Getting all your thoughts down on paper is a very effective, efficient way to cleanse your mind and your heart—and to get all that resentment out! You then have the choice of burning it (carefully of course) or throwing the letter away. As you toss it, say so long to toxicity and hello to healthy, nurturing, balanced friendships!
To learn more about the ingredients for happiness, you can purchase my book: The Recipe for Real Happiness, on Amazon!!! Click here.
Sending you so much love!
I often hear people say, “I can’t meditate… I can’t shut my mind off.” I understand what they mean… but guess what? Anyone can meditate. You don’t need your mind to be a blank slate to reap the benefits. It’s okay to have thoughts—the idea is for you to separate yourself from your thoughts.
One way to do this is with a meditation tool called “labelling your thoughts.” Labelling helps you to see the tendencies of your mind so that you can change your habitual thought patterns and ultimately be more in control of your choices.
Find a distraction-free space and get comfortable. Then close your eyes (if that works for you) and just let your body relax into the chair, couch, bed, or floor. Within minutes, or even seconds, tune in. Notice thoughts drifting into your mind. They could be observations on how you feel (“I have an itch”), errands you need to do (“What will I make for dinner?”), or something that you just experienced (“What did my friend mean in the text she just sent?”). The thoughts will creep in; your job is to just observe them but not engage.
While observing your thoughts you can imagine that you are in a stream and your thoughts are the water that flows past you. Start by labelling the fact that you are thinking. Simply say silently to yourself “thinking” when you notice yourself thinking.
Next, add labels. Don’t worry about naming the thoughts correctly, just use ones that make sense to you. Whatever works for you is the “right” way. Some label ideas— “judgment,” “planning,” “fear,” or “remembering.” Label your thoughts as they arise and float by.
This exercise will not only help you to be still and more present with yourself, but it will also give you greater awareness as well as control over your mind in your everyday life!
To learn more about the ingredients for happiness, you can purchase my book: The Recipe for Real Happiness, on Amazon!!! Click here.
Sending you so much love!
